Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
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