READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Randomize
