I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Randomize
