god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
