You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
I understand Curling. That high.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
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