You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize