he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
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