It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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