How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Randomize