my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
