wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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