I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
