i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Randomize
