this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
