went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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