if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
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