i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
did i just pee glitter
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Randomize