The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Randomize
