Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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