I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
