I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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