i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
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