this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Two words: blizzard sex
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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