is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
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