Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
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