No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
