How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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