I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize