More tranny stories later!
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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