two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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