She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
