yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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