i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
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