Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
