It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
