I skipped work to stalk him.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
