So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Randomize
