dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Randomize