I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
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