i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Randomize
