Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I queefed so loud it echoed.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
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