No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Randomize
