id be glad to
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
