I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
