This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
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