Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Randomize
