Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
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