he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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