this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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