So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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