Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
We're too hungover to prance.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
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