you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
