I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
