I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
