Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
