I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
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