Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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