All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
True college students do jello shots in the library
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