I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Randomize
