I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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