you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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