I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
